i don't know nuttin bout birthin babies

so I have happened upon what could be a most terrible new addition to "things I would rather be doing than data analysis" list: McSweeney's Imagined Monologues.

It is with that in mind that I ask you to read the collection- in my place. 

Have already managed to laugh in my head audibly by myself for a good half hour reading monos like the following.

1. It Was I Who Flipped Over the Risk Board Last Night
By Colin Nissan (6/17/08)

2. Subway Sandwich Artist's Statement
By Jonathan Tucker Bell (2/19/09) 

3. Beowulf, Sitting Next to a 16-Year-Old Kid, Watches Frasier on a Transcontinental Flight
By Russell Hehn (10/28/08) 

But later on- lo and behold- I was sitting at the comp all like...

and then !BAM! significance at the p<0.01 level.

I clapped my hands, shouted out loud and said 'yeah!'  

Standard me, really.